nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
So, I got a shiny new iphone 5c. Took out a SIM with The People's Operator so a proportion of my spend goes to a charity of my choice.
Initially data was not working, but eventually it did and I got used to being able to work online while out and about.
Then on Thursday evening I was speaking to Marjorie about an event I was planning to attend next Wednesday. She wanted to know where it was and to answer her I needed to access event details on fetlife. I discovered that my phone has "protection" enabled! WTF? I was never asked about this and certainly never consented to being "protected". So I fired off a rapid email to support at TPO. When I'd received no response other than an automated email with a ticket number by mid afternoon on Friday I RANG the support number. I got to hold on for a couple of minutes until someone answered, which probably isn't bad response speed as these things go. However, the first thing they suggested I needed to do to fix it wouldn't work. (Some setting deep within the Profile needed to be edited and I just didn't have access to editing rights.). So I rang them back and got to speak to the same person (again, this is good!). She said she would send me a file by email which I should then open on my iphone and THAT would solve the problem. The email arrived fairly quickly, but on trying to open the attachment I got an error message: invalid profile. Damn! So I got to thinking, maybe they have sent me a new profile but I need to remove the old one first. So instead of ringing straight back, I deleted the old profile - the one that was allowing me restricted access to data services. With me so far? Bet you can guess what happened next, right? Tried opening the file they sent me again, got the same error message! So now I have NO access to data services at all. I rang back, spoke to the same person, but she didn't know how to help me. She said she would escalate the problem to Support (the people who hadn't responded quickly to my first raising the issue ) and I would hear from them by email. She couldn't give me a timescale but said she would escalate using the already supplied ticket number. That was on Friday afternoon. It is now Sunday morning and I haven't heard from them. Do I assume they only work weekdays and wait til midday tomorrow? If I still haven't heard, how do I kick ass? I'm paying for unlimited data (and everything else) and I'm getting a tad tetchy about it not working now.
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
Opening Doors London's Bi Visibility Group meets tomorrow, Monday 16th from 5pm to 8pm at Tavis House, 1-6 Tavistock Square, London WC1H 9NA. Hope I will have time to make mince pies to take with me. :-)
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
Opening Doors London's Bi Visibility Group for Bis over 50 meets again on Monday, from 5pm to 8pm at Tavis House, 1-6 Tavistock Square, London WC1H 9NA.

We have two visitors:
Jill Wilkens, a social researcher, who wants to consult the group about her concerns that Bi people's contribution is so often invisible in much lgbt research and how we might address this; and

Neall Ryon, who describes himself as "a fully recovered cancer patient who after surgery declined chemotherapy and has spent the ensuing six plus years researching, learning and sharing his knowledge of alternative and complimentary healing modalities regarding illness and dis-ease. His half hour talk discusses good stress/bad stress and their effects on the body. He will also discuss the environment which supports the physical expression of dis-ease as well as the cancer prevention quality of Vitamin “D”.

So it promises to be a packed event, and there is still the possibility of going on to a hostelry nearby afterwards if the conversations are flowing and want to continue past the 8pm deadline at the venue.

I'll be there - will any of you?
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
Announcing it here and in other places, so apologies if you see it multiple times.

There is a new Bi Group (for over 50s) starting on Monday 21st October and repeating every third Monday of the month at Tavis House, Tavistock Square, London, WC1H 9NA. Time is from 5.00 - 8.00 pm, and there is potential for going out for food or a drink afterwards. The venue is a meeting room in AgeUK Camden's office building. We can get a cup of tea/coffee, bring snacks/food if we want to. No money required to attend at all! Unless you still have to pay for transport, that is. Over 60s of course, don't.

This has come about after I discovered Opening Doors London in the summer and asked them what they were doing for bi folks and suggested a meeting specifically for bisexuals on ICBD (Bi Visibility Day). The meeting was well attended and those present were keen to see a group set up. I hope it will also draw from the existing membership of ODL as well as helping them to attract other older bisexuals in the capital.

If there is any way you can help me spread the word, please do!
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
I've been instrumental in bringing about this event and hope that there will be some more bi events organised by ODL - an organisation I joined this summer.

Opening Doors London
International Celebrate Bisexuality Day
Monday 23rd September 2013
An event for over 50s – old enough to have made up our minds!
Tavis House, 1-6 Tavistock Square, LONDON WC1H 9NA
2pm to 7pm
Tea, coffee, biscuits provided
Bring and share cake if you wish!
And afterwards at
Penderel’s Oak, 283-288 High Holborn, LONDON WC1V 7HP
6pm to 9pm

We don’t always have to choose just one option.
Do the afternoon or do the evening, or do both!


Both venues fully accessible
All welcome!
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
It's Good Friday. The door bell rang. I answered the door, wondering who it could be. Two men stood there, one visibly holding a Bible. I smiled and said, "No thanks, I'm not interested." Older man: "You're not interested in the Bible?" Me: "I'm not interested in any religion." Older man: (he's persistent, but my patience is wearing thin now) "why aren't you interested in religion then?" Me: (smiling) "I don't need it mate, why don't you spend your time with people who do?" At which point I was starting to shut the door. I do find it annoying when Christians (and it inevitably IS Christians, no other religions have sent people to knock at my door) think they can just knock on doors and that people will be happy to talk to them about religion and that some good will result. How arrogant they are!
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
Passing this on from the Gay Gordon's newsletter: (Marjorie and I hope to attend)

GG's host a 'BIG DANCE'

As part of BIG DANCE Event,, The Gay Gordons will be hosting our own Big Dance on Thursday 12th July 2012 at our weekly class venue Unity Church Hall, Upper Street, Islington N1 .

Dancing will start at 7pm to 10pm. We will have a range of easy dances, all walked through before dancing, and called. We have LIVE MUSIC care of Green Kite Midnight.

Admission is £5.00.

There will be an interval with limited refreshments and soft drinks - if you can bring something to share that would be great. (nibbles nuts and crisps)

Tell ALL your friends about it and bring them along for a fun packed evening!

Venue address, how to get to us all on our website:
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
I have just deactivated my FaceBook account. If anyone is interested enough to follow me here, please comment so that I can add you as a friend as nearly all my posts here are friendslocked. This is a rare public post so that anyone looking for me here can actually find me!
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
My creative day worked out well again today and I now have a lovely purple sparkly glittery flared skirt hanging on the handle of my wardrobe to "settle" before I put it away. I was worrying about making a hole in the waistband, which is very narrow, for the tie to go through, but have found that it's fine without any kind of hole, I can just wrap it and it works. Probably because it's such a generous overlap. When David is back at the weekend I'll try to get him to take some pics so I can post them, but I'm delighted to have taken two days and made a pair of shorts and a skirt that I am really happy with.

Next project may well be a pinafore dress (I think the Americans call them jumpers!) - the kind of sleeveless dress that one wears over a fine polo neck sweater or a blouse anyway.

That one is going to be using a commercial pattern, but I'm expecting to have to alter it to fit.

Sometime I really need to make myself a basic bodice block and make up a fitted dress in a toile fabric ... once I have the block right I can start altering it and making different designs, but I do need to check that I have the block correct first.

I'm still looking for a course to sign up to for next term - ideally I'd prefer one that runs during the daytime, but the only one I've found so far is running on an evening. Apart from anything else I think I'm going to have to buy some pattern paper on a roll and it's SO much cheaper with student discount! Not to mention the great goodness of having a weekly reason to get my sewing stuff out.
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
Yesterday I used one of the patterns I made at the Pattern Cutting with Simple Shapes course I attended last year. I made up a pair or wrap-around shorts - it's hard to imagine what they might look like, but the pattern is so easy, it's a rectangle of fabric with a U shape cut out for the body to "sit" in ... and they fold perfectly and are great for holidays. I made mine out of Liberty tana lawn (a really nice lightweight cotton fabric) and they look OK to me even though, of course, they don't actually "fit". The most obvious lack of fit is at the waist. They go on by tying - first you position the back half and tie this round your waist, then you pull the front through from between your legs and tie that on - so the bow for the back is at the front underneath the front piece, which has its bow at your back. The ties are narrow so the bows are fairly unobtrusive. The sides are well overlapped and the whole thing hangs unbelievably well. I'm delighted with how these have turned out. They seem very comfortable to wear, but I'm going to save them for my Italian holiday and will report back then after wearing them "in anger" so to speak.

Today I have so far taken my circle skirt block (also made on a Morley College course last year) and from that I have made a pattern for a wrap-around skirt, based on the half-circle, which I'm going to make up in the purple glittery cotton fabric that I found on eBay and fell in love with. I've cut out three half circles - two to go round me and one for overlap - and a long strip for the ties. Now all I have to do is brave putting it through the sewing machine. Googling has given me a lot of anxiety about the glitter coming loose and clogging up the works. I think I'm going to try using some paper between the machine and the fabric to see if that will help to keep the machine clean.

I think I'm going to have to order me some pattern cutting paper on a roll. The kind you can buy in packets is pretty rubbish and comes with creases in that are difficult to get rid of! The only problem (apart from storing the roll) is that I'm not sure I'll ever use it all up. The rolls are 250 or 300 metres long!
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
While ever we (or any of our friends) are afraid to be all that we are on social networking sites like FaceBook ... while ever anyone is afraid they will be discriminated against for being who they are and openly sharing it ... while ever anyone self censors and worries about what friends might reveal about them to their other friends ...

For all these reasons and more I am proud to be an activist for social equality.

If you agree with me, post this to your journal!
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)

My current landline and broadband supplier is Pipex - or is it Talk-Talk? It gets a bit confusing as they seem to change hands constantly, but it's Pipex who send me bills, so we'll go with that. Our line was originally BT until we took out broadband from Bulldog (remember them?)

I want desperately to change as the service we get from Pipex is crap and very expensive. I've identified a supplier to go with - BE ( and now the fun starts.

I rang Pipex to get a MAC code (migration reference code) and they told me they were unable to provide one. Something about bundled services? I got my son/aka system admin to talk to them at this point. They did of course try to sell us a different package until my son told them in no uncertain terms that we did not want a different package we wanted to quit.

They claimed to be totally unable to help us and suggested we approach our new supplier.

I rang BE and they tested our line, found they couldn't get any info on it (not a BT line) and could go no further with it. Their suggestion is that we transfer the landline to either BT or the Post Office, and then from there we will be able to transfer it to them (BE) with no need for a MAC key.

This all seems a lot of trouble and I'm scared we will somehow end up with no internet access for an unpredictable length of time which is completely unacceptable. Or maybe we need to transfer the broadband and phone line to Post Office for a short term in order to progress?

Any wise words of advice from anyone out there on how best to sort this situation?

I'm angry as hell with Pipex as they seem to have us in some kind of lock-in which is NOT acceptable.

If there isn't any easier way out of this, is there any ombudsman or similar avenue for complaint as frankly this situation is driving me insane?

Oh, and on a brighter note, the post rapture party will be at Bi Bi Baby tonight ... and will involve lots of personal rapture with any luck, both during and after! ;-)
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
Here's wishing you all the happiest of new years and all good things in 2011.

For those who are currently suffering, I hope you will recover and go on to great things in the coming year.

For those who are celebrating the best of everything right now I hope you will continue in happiness and strength, and overcome any challenges you meet in the coming year.

For those who are worrying about what the future will hold, I hope you will find the challenges less scary than you anticipate, and that you have the skills and flexibility to open a new door when an old one closes on you.

I am grateful for all the love and support of friends and partners in my life, without which I would not have survived 2010 as well as I did.

If I can help anyone else in a similar way this year, don't be afraid to let me know.
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
I seem to be noticing that we are changing in the ways in which we are prepared to communicate with each other, "we" being modern privileged English-speaking human beings with internet access.

At first I noticed that people didn't write letters any more, preferring the more instant gratification of exchanging emails.

Now, however, it seems people won't even write emails, they prefer to tweet or IM.

What's brought this to my attention is the way a new member of a mailing list community I moderate is trying to interact with the membership.  She doesn't seem to understand the medium of an email mailing list and seems to want, and send, very brief, one-line communications.

I think it's a sad day when we lose the capability of stringing a few sentences together to express ourselves.

Have any of my readers anything to observe or to add to my observation on this subject?
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
Text of an email I sent this morning after seeing red when eating my cornflakes:

Dear ELOP,

So - you have a passion for LGBT equality, do you? 

So why, in your advertisement in the Evening Standard of 13th December 2010 seeking Charity Trustees and General Volunteers, do you state:  "Lesbians and gay men only need apply"?

Do you have any idea how hurtful it is to bisexual women like myself to be excluded in this way?

I'd like to think it was an oversight, but, sadly, I've known too many organisations where the B and T are silent additions to their literature and the only concern is for lesbians and gay men.

You may have bisexual staff - they probably just don't tell you!


Nickie Roome

ETA - their admittedly prompt response:

Dear Nickie,


Thank you for your email and feedback.


Let me start by apologising for the hurt & frustration our advert caused you.  As an organisation we are passionate about equality and that absolutely does include bisexual and trans people along with lesbians and gay men.  We recently made the amendment to our ad due to the response we were having from heterosexual people applying to volunteer with us at the suggestion of their careers advisor that we could not accept as our constitution states that as our services are for lesbians, gay men and bisexual people they are to be delivered by lesbians, gay men and bisexual people.  Identifying lesbians and gay men in our ad was simply a clear way of preventing this response that was unfortunately limited by the space available in the newspaper.


I do however understand how this must have appeared and so we are reviewing this with the newspaper. However I would like to assure you that should you wish to, we would welcome your application to volunteer with us.


Please feel free to contact me if you would like to discuss any further.


Kind regards,





Patrick Wolter

Lead Officer: Service Delivery

(non-clinical services)



Registered Office

ELOP - East London Out Project

56/60 Grove Road


London  E17 9BN


Tel:         020 8509 3898

Fax:        020 8509 7950




Registered Charity 1067474         Company Limited by Guarantee 3355423
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
S N O W      

in London!

I confess I am nearly 58 years young and I still love the white stuff.  I've been out for a walk in it this morning, as it was falling, all wrapped up warm and cozy, and it was a sheer delight.

About the only thing I don't like about snow is having to shovel it.  And mercifully I haven't had to do that for years.

nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
What is it with dating sites? I've looked today at a few that claim to be aiming at bisexuals but on ALL of them you have to be seeking according to gender. What is it about bisexuality that these sites do not understand? For me at least, and I suspect for a few other bisexuals I know, defining your choices in seeking by gender, and by two narrow gender categories at that, is bound to annoy and indeed render the whole site unusable.

Are there any dating sites out there that *don't* make you say you are seeking either a male or a female, man or a woman, or a couple ... it seems ingrained in the consciousness of those who write these sites.

okCupid is ok as far as it goes, but I get an endless stream of straight men appearing in my "quiver" and they are pretty much guaranteed NOT to make me quiver in response, except with anger and rage at the site algorithm that keeps sending them my way. And yes, I've tried emailing the site and telling them about my frustration several times but I get no response.

Oh, and the new IC site is confusing in the extreme. I need a tutorial on how to use it, I think. Not helped by the fact that apparently some of the features don't become live on a new account for a week.

nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
Well, actually David's bike, but still. I'd been too nervous to try it out on the roads and so he had me drive us to Dulwich Park where there are road-wide paths and cycling is allowed. After a few wobbly attempts I was off. Practiced getting started to the point where I can do it without having to "scoot" several yards before getting my second foot onto the pedal. Not confident I could do this going uphill yet though. Practiced steering round bends and avoiding obstacles - needed an obstacle course of traffic cones, but such was not available, sadly. Still, for a first cycle in probably ten years it wasn't bad.
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
I found this on alt.poly and have the OP's permission to propagate:

Love Unlimited: The Joys and Challenges of Open Relationships
Door Leonie Linssen,Stephan Wik

The Joys and Challenges of Open Relationships

208 pages paperback

Have you ever wondered whether you could share an open loving relationship
with more than one person?

Love Unlimited charts the course of twelve different partnerships as men and
women navigate monogamy, polyamory, triads, bisexuality, homosexuality, open
marriages and sexual explorations. In each case, Linssen, working as a
relationship coach, challenges singles, couples or multiples to honestly
identify their expectations, fears, jealousies, and passions in order to find
a loving dynamic that works for everyone involved.

Love Unlimited invites you to put aside taboos and ingrained notions of
romantic relationships in order to explore your own ideals and shape your own
love life.

The reader will laugh, and maybe cry, but most of all identify. You’ll
discover new insights, tools and resources to help you dare to embrace

Join the authors as they share the fascinating wisdom found in these stories
and in parallel practices from lesser known cultures and ancient texts, and
offer respectful, honest options for sustainable partnerships. There are

The book is recently translated into English and parts are to be found here:

And the shortend version of that link is:
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)
May I wish all my friend who celebrate it a very Happy Thanksgiving.

I am grateful for the love and support of my many friends at this time.


nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)

March 2014



RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags